Connect to your Self Worth
It took me a long time to accept that being lost and not knowing my next steps is okay. More than okay—it’s normal. That's why I hate asking teenagers and even college students what they want to become.
Today, I want to share how I arrived at this understanding, in the hope that it might help others on their own life and career journeys.
What helped me along the way:
Years of therapy
A lot of cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) work
Self-compassion practice
Personal research on how people achieved life and career goals
Realizing that your own values and process are more important than any end goal
Considering the question: When I die, what do I actually want to be remembered for?
Another thing worth mentioning is that your job and career don’t define your worth. This understanding can ease some of the anxiety around feeling lost. If you’re American, it might feel otherwise—after all, one of the first things people ask when they meet is, What do you do? But in many other parts of the world, that’s not the question. Perhaps this cultural difference explains why those regions often have more vacation time than Americans. But I digress.
Consider some examples to illustrate this point.
Vivien Thomas is one example. He "designed groundbreaking surgical equipment, developed life-saving techniques, and trained countless doctors”—yet he never went to college or medical school. Working as a lab technician for Dr. Alfred Blalock at Vanderbilt University, he accomplished amazing feats. But during the 1930s, he was classified as a janitor, paid $12 a week, and often worked 16-hour days. Vivien Thomas shows us that worth isn’t tied to a title. Only you know your worth, and simply by being, you are worthy.
Another example is Lhakpa Sherpa from rural Nepal. "In 2000, she became the first Nepali woman to summit and survive Mount Everest, and today, she holds the record for most Everest summits by a woman, with ten climbs." Despite this, her life was clouded by domestic violence and other hardships, and she now works at Whole Foods—something most people might not expect from someone with her accomplishments. This shows that the world may never fully see your value, and sometimes, even you may struggle to see it. But valuing yourself and connecting to your worth is crucial. Because you are inherently valuable, simply by existing in this world.
